He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Randomize
