Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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