kristin has been a bad kristin
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
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