ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Randomize
