If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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