im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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