I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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