I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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