Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Randomize
