It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
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