So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
