Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize
