i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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