let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
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