This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Randomize
