Just cropdusted the office
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Randomize
