Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
