My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
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