So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
