i barfeds in our rink
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
