once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
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At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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