I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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