just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Randomize
