A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
