these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
My vagina just clenched in fear
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
Randomize
