so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Randomize
