Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Randomize
