dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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