i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
