bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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