Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Randomize
