I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
