Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
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