Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Randomize
