I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
