You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I just want to make out with him forever
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Randomize
