What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
PS: I just woke up from my shower
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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