well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
Sober January is a disaster.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Randomize
