I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
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