my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Randomize
