Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
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