we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
