is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
