I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize
