Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
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