Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize
