Its about making memories worth repressing
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
