she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
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