: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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