if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
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