I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
God gave him joint rollers for hands
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
